triggers

It seems like everyone, whether in the recovery movement or not, throws around the term “trigger.” It’s as if it were a catch-all phrase for all things that irritate or annoy us. But what does it really mean for people living with mental health differences? Exactly what are triggers?

From my experience and the experiences relayed to me by other peers, at their core triggers are the catalyst for distressing feelings and thoughts. Triggers are events, conversations, actions, smells, physical sensations, places, etc. that cause a negative emotion, thought or response that overwhelms one’s coping mechanisms. These catalysts for distress are most commonly associated with past trauma. Something awful happened and a trigger takes a person back to that time and space.

How do we identify our triggers? The best way I have found to identify what triggers me is to analyze my response after the fact; especially when my response seemed disproportionately high. So, once things have settled back down and I can look objectively at the situation, I break the experience down. It is difficult for most people to be logical and rational when they are being triggered. In the moment, it is almost impossible for people to say this or that is triggering me. After the fact, I can ask myself what happened just before or leading up to the distressing response. What sensations did I go through preceding the reaction? What were my thoughts and feelings?

What can we do to take care of ourselves when we are triggered? I have developed a toolbox of affirmations that I use when I find myself being transported back to darker days. I worked on these very personal mantras at a time when I was doing well and stored them away for the tough times. One mantra is “I’m okay, I’m safe, I’m an adult.” This helps me stay in the present instead of going back to the time of the trauma when I felt helpless. The key is to remain in the present moment. Another way to stay present is to rely on your senses. You can use your sense of smell by wearing a scented body oil on your wrists and smelling them when you feel unsafe. You can use your sense of touch by rubbing your hands together until they are warm and focusing on that sensation. The easiest solution is to just remove yourself from the situation that is triggering you.

What do we do when our triggers cause us so much distress that we behave in what others view as inappropriate ways? How do we handle the aftermath? As I said, when we are being triggered we are probably not in a position to communicate very well what is happening. Our coping mechanisms are being overwhelmed and we are likely feeling out of control. That being said we need a plan in place to deal with these inevitable events. We need to let our supporters know in advance what might take us to these distressing places. And just as important, we need to have a plan to make amends if our words or behavior negatively affects others. It’s not all about us. We have a responsibility to the people we come in contact with to apologize and to the best of our ability explain ourselves. Having triggers is not permission to act out without regard to how our actions affect others.

So, if we are compassionate with ourselves and honest with others we can get through these challenging experiences. A tool I have learned as a peer specialist is the formula “I see, I feel, I need.” If we can stay present enough when being triggered we can use this formula to communicate on the most basic level without blaming or attacking others. After all, for the most part, people don’t set out to push our buttons. Stating what you see, acknowledging how you feel about it and asserting what you need are healthy ways of moving through these kinds of experiences.

Finally, I think if we can keep in mind that triggers have their base in past traumatic events, then we can be kind to ourselves and others when situations occur. I think if we can avoid taking the actions of others personally when we are triggered we have a better chance of maintaining and even deepening our relationships. The more we understand ourselves and others, understand what makes us tick, the better we will get along.