Resilience is basically the ability to bounce back from
adversity and challenge; learning from your experiences and applying your new
found knowledge to future challenges. Resilience is the recognition that one’s
coping skills have been overwhelmed by one’s circumstances or symptoms. When
this happens its necessary to seek our new or different skills to regain
stability. Resilience for me has meant remembering in the midst of chaos that
relapse is a part of the process; that I’ve been there before and I can regain
control of my life.
The act of bouncing back comes after things start to
breakdown. The breakdown for me in the past has been when my mind stops
responding well to my medications and I start to decompensate. That means I
stop being able to take care of daily responsibilities, my memory starts to
worsen, I don’t want to shower, go to work, etc. Resilience begins with the
recognition that I am spiraling down a dangerous path. That takes a certain
level of insight that everyone doesn’t have and that’s when community support
becomes essential.
When insight isn’t there, it takes family, friends, coworkers,
etc. to say “I’m concerned about you, you don’t seem yourself.” It’s important
to note here that the way that concern is expressed is very important. For example,
it’s not helpful to say things like “You don’t seem like you have taken your
meds” or “You are trippin’ have you taken your meds?” Concern expressed with
love and respect are what’s needed.
So, for me the journey back to stability means communicating
with my health care provider, going through the arduous process of find a new
medication, and taking time out to recover. Relapse is traumatic and disruptive
and requires time to regenerate. When my symptoms have abated and I can feel a
true range of emotions, I know I’m on my way back to stability. When I can take
pleasure in activities that I have always enjoyed and when brushing my teeth
does not feel like a chore, I know I am back on track to thriving and not just
surviving.
Resilience is a relearning process. It is a process of
remembering as well. It is the active living of the mantra “I’ve been here
before, I can handle this.” When we are doing well we have to support our
ability to bounce back by establishing healthy supports with people we trust
and amassing tools that will alert us that something in our life needs our
attention. Having a WRAP plan is perfect for this. It outlines our triggers and
our symptoms for the people we love so that they can support us the way we want
to be supported when things start to fall apart. And don’t believe the hype, no
matter how far we have come in our recovery, relapse is always a possibility.
The time immediately following a relapse when we are feeling
more like our genuine selves, is the time when we need to put in some work.
This is the time to be self-reflective and ask oneself some important
questions. We need to be like mental health detectives as ask ourselves what
caused the relapse, what could have been in place to prevent it, what can I do
to avoid this in the future? This is the time when we have to make some tough
decisions. Was it a person, place or thing that caused the relapse and do any
of these elements need to be eliminated from our life? Our recovery has to be
more important than any person, place or thing. It’s too important to give up
for anything. For some of us it is a matter of life and death.
