I’ve talked previously about suffering when an individual
has disturbing or extraordinary experiences that are sometimes labeled mental
illness. Often times these experiences can bring about suffering in themselves
or at the hands of others in the medical community. Whether the suffering comes
from within or without, the fact of the matter is the suffering and its after
effects are real. They are real and have very real consequences.
In this post, I want to borrow from the mindfulness community
and my own faith tradition and talk a bit about acceptance of suffering. From
my experience my greatest and most damaging suffering has come from wanting my circumstances
to be somehow different from what they were. I have suffered because I wanted
more money, more status, more possessions, more beauty, and in recent years I’ve
suffered because I’ve wanted some of my experiences to stop.
It has been in this incessant wanting that I have suffered
the most. In the midst of my suffering, the tears, the episodes of traumatic
fear, the distressing voices I would call on my Higher Power to take it all
away. It never occurred to me to look for meaning in those experiences. It
never occurred to me that there was a reason I was having these experiences. It
never occurred to me that these were opportunities for real and meaningful
growth.
So, over a span of time two things happened for me. An
awesome healer suggested I stop fighting against my experiences and really be
present for them. She proposed I sit in them and listen to what they were
trying to tell me. She suggested I accept them as a part of me versus trying to
exorcise them as some sort of external entity. Radical thinking. The second
thing that happened was that through the teachings at my church, I came to see
that Jesus went through a similar experience. I came to see that He suffered
contemplating dying by crucifixion so much so that He sweat blood. And I learned
that when He accepted His fate he experienced peace, courage, and strength.
I’ve had many labels over the course of my life, many
struggles as we all have and suffered greatly. However, what I have learned
that has transformed the quality of my life, has given me peace, courage and
strength in the midst of suffering is acceptance. Not blind acceptance, but
acceptance with the faith that there is always meaning in my suffering; that
there is always something to be learned, an opportunity for growth.
Instead of masking my suffering with food, drugs, or
loveless relationships I embrace the lessons. I use the pain to learn more
about myself, my strength, my community and I use the pain to empower myself
and others. I use that suffering to connect with others to ease isolation, to
humanize extraordinary experiences and to foster hope. Suffering on the surface
appears futile, but it has a purpose and the potential to heal beyond our
expectations.
