the power of insight

In my work as a peer specialist I talk a lot about the power of insight in recovery. Many times I have launched into an awe inspiring sermon on how great insight is because it can move your recovery forward by leaps and bounds. Then I realize by the glazed look in my client’s eyes that they have no idea what I’m talking about. It’s a challenge I’m working on-thinking that everyone sees things from my world view, is familiar with recovery lingo, and relates to their illness the same way I do.

Insight for me is about acceptance of and relationship with my illness. Coming to terms with the fact that this jumble of experiences I go through are not going away and are real was the turning point for me. To be sure, I so wanted some things to go away, but in truth, there were some experiences that were comforting. There were some experiences that were familiar and even helpful. Like the period when my voices were like wise mentors giving me sage advice about this or that. Then one day the advice went away and was replaced by a barrage of mundane conversations between people I didn’t know. It was maddening because they weren’t even talking to me.

My understanding of insight has been tied directly to my acceptance of my reality that I live with a variety of symptoms and experiences commonly encapsulated by the term schizophrenia. So even though I would never refer to myself as a schizophrenic, I do say when it comes up that I have schizophrenia. There’s a difference. One is an identity and the latter is one aspect of an identity. So, as I’ve stated in previous posts, I am more than this diagnosis. I am mother, healthcare worker, sister, artist, friend, etc.

Insight for me has also been the process of becoming more familiar with my mental illness so that it doesn’t interfere with my ability to live a life of my choosing. It has meant taking a hard look at my warning signs, my triggers, and the kinds of behaviors that I exhibit when things are not going well. I’ve had to think critically about what I alone can do to lessen the negative effects of these behaviors on my life and on my relationship with my supporters.

So how does having insight into a mental health difference further one’s recovery? Insight demystifies our experiences and takes away the painful sting of a diagnosis of mental illness. Insight reduces fear and shame by giving us permission to integrate these experiences, feelings, thoughts and behaviors into our whole being. As our insight deepens, we become for fully integrated beings. We give ourselves permission to be whole. And what are some ways we can cultivate insight in ourselves and the people we serve? There are many strategies. At their core is the state of curiosity. Being curious about who we really are, our authentic selves, and what makes us tick is essential to meaningful insight. We can use creative writing, visual art, and meditation to find out more about ourselves. We can use movement through dance or regular exercise. Then there is the art of touch through massage. We just need to be willing to try new things to figure out what works for us.

Without insight, which in my mind is the opposite of denial, it is impossible to get a handle on our mental health. I mean if we don’t acknowledge that there is something actually going on how can we address it? Acknowledging is not the same as claiming it. Acknowledging it does not mean we allow it to define us. It simply means we accept this one aspect of ourselves and give it the attention it needs. And we do this so that we can be the best version of ourselves that is possible.