disclosure

Disclosure is a big deal for people living with severe and persistent mental illness. The question becomes not only who do I tell, but when and how much. For me disclosure is on a need to know basis. In my line of work, however, it is almost impossible to conceal it. Certified Peer Specialists are required to have personal experience with mental illness and we use that lived experience of recovery to support others on their journey to recovery. Our experience with living with a mental illness gives unparalleled legitimacy to our belief that everyone has the capacity to live, learn and grow.

The greatest challenge in disclosing is that there’s almost no way of really knowing how someone will respond. Will they be tolerant, compassionate, politically correct, frightened or simply turned off? You just don’t know until you do know.

As much as I have been rejected after my disclosure, I have been embraced. I’ve experienced many different kinds of responses.

Early on when I told some of the members of my extended family, I was told that mental illness was a myth; a construct of the pharmaceutical  industry to ensure reliance on medication for the purposes of big profit. All I could think in reply was tell that to my voices! Other family members asked me repeatedly if I was sure, didn’t I want to get a second opinion? One family member, my sister, said what I needed to hear most. She said, “Okay, how are you going to manage this? What can I do to help?” She continues to this day to be a blessing to me.

When I talked with my son about it, his response was that it’s just a label. Another awesome response I got was from a former employer. She hired me for my first CPS job and said “Come to work anyway.” This is what she said to me when I expressed concern about being symptomatic. “Come to work anyway.” That meant I didn’t have to put on a happy face and pretend that everything was okay. All I had to do was show up and do my best. That freed me and I have taken that philosophy with me. All anyone can be expected to do is show up and do their best.

I’ve also had some awful responses. I once had another CPS tell me that he could not be friends with me because I have a mental illness. Yes, you read that right. Another person with a mental health challenge rejected me for having a mental health challenge. I had another person come to my home, break bread with me and my friends only to stop taking my calls when he found out about my illness.

This would never happens if I disclosed I had irritable bowel syndrome or diabetes or eczema. Never in the history of mankind has someone been rejected for having a heart murmur. My point is, these are all medical conditions. These are all physical issues. Well, so is mental illness. The brain is an organ just like any other and it can get sick like any other. So why do we as a society fear this sickness over others? Why is it that for some people mental illness is a deal breaker? It can be managed like other illnesses. It can go into remission. People can and do recover.